Musings from Students of the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies in Jerusalem
Posted on January 26, 2012 by Anton L. Gershteyn
2 minutes ago one of my most beloved friends, Alexander Zaitzev died. 23 years old.
Sasha was one of the most reasonable, kind and open-hearted human beings I met in my life. Sasha was humble, but eager to fight for justice, loving and caring. He did not need any religion or any God to give him commandments. He was Himself. All his not long, 23 years – life. I can testify for him, because i knew him since he was 8.
Sasha shined without jewelry. He finished school at 16 instead of 18, he graduated the classical music Conservatory extern, in 3 years instead of 8. He was a pure genius, a masterpiece of humanity with a genius brain, overwelming feelings, endless heart. He died so young with no reasonable explanation.
I would be more satisfied with his death if there was any appropriate reason. Heresy, smoking, adultery, murder, theft, ignorance, drugs, slavery, violence? None of that ever happened. Sasha was a real reincarnation of a Saint – with his genius, with his desire for mediocrity, with his will for reason and control. In comparison with Sasha, I am nothing but pure Devil. I sinned, I smoke 2 packs a day, I have gone through all the possible kinds of drugs, kinds of sex, kinds of blasphemy, etc. If that logic was be true I would have already been dead like 3-10 times. From lung cancer, from a lightning without a cloud, from a knife of a drunk gipsy stuck in my kidney in a god forsaken bar in the Russian suburbs. How could such a pure and innocent soul could be wasted on this planet now?
Sorry, Moshe ben Maimon, with all my respect, your approach is not working. Promising me years of life and satisfaction for my appreciative life? I “spat” right in the face of my God so many times and you see, I am still alive and happy. I am a sinner, I am a bastard, a loser, and you are still giving me a chance? The chance that I am not honestly going to use, by the way? Those innocent lambs of yours have to die young. For being kind, for being talented and blessed by You with their genius?
Even Christians understand that and are being realistic. “No promises of good life here and now(!): just be good, and you have fun in Heaven.” Muslims promising me Gurias, virgins in Heaven, that I can have fun with, for the good life I live here. Isn’t that more honest? An illusion definitely, but at least it makes you comfortable, instead of applying for nonsense which is just not working in reality.
Let’s get to Buddhism: No God, No Justice, No Mercy. The sooner you forget about all those stereotypes – the better for You. There is nothing here left. You and your emotions. Or You and your Intellect. “Be strong and resolute” – be brave enough to except that?
Oh, its hard? You feel so uncomfortable without your Barbie God? No promises, no help, no satisfaction? Get to a cave. Meditate there for as long as you can (300-600 years). You seem to love all that Zen-Judaism stuff, right? And be ready to accept the fact: this is the end. And this is the most you can get.
baruch ata Adoinai melech….
P.S. This is the last mix by Alexander. It needs some education and culture but those who are accustomed with electronic music will understand its a total masterpiece: https://dl.dropbox.com/0/view/5hl7kb0fbjtppj7/Cаша/Midiez%20-%20Letter.mp3
