Posted on January 7, 2013 by Shoshana Rosen
From my blog:
I walked across the street leaving the bench where I sat to give my feet a rest from my blisters
I feel you again, that constant “what the !! are you doing next year?”
as we brought the new year an hour prior, it rests on my mind
How do I make goals for the new year when you don’t know where you will be, what you will be doing, or who you will be sharing your life with?
It has to just be about you, the internal home that never changed no matter where you go.
I will pray for inner calm through chaos.
So we walked, I am not just waiting around
I take a long step in the cold, through the hurt, raise my arms and fly to the other side
i knew it has been a long time since i have written! i have found it hard to find the time to sit and write, and even have enough words to describe everything that has been going through my head. But here are some little poem things i have written over time (they DO not represent how i am feeling now, but certain times in my life)
I feel your hand in mine
You talk, but I just see background
Compared to you-oh Jerusalem!
The true and everlasting love How pure and sweet is your love
One of 2,000 generations
And you, a month
This is a love story
Between your cracking stone and my open toe shoes
And everything else is just history
There once was a girl who forgot her laugh
One night she sat and tried to remember her own laugh
It was like playing dress up
She tried the old man laugh ‘hohwahoo’ and even made her belly swell up and down like she had a beer belly, but it didn’t feel right
She tried the little girl laugh. ‘gigle gigle’
And the heingna laugh ‘heheheh’
But non felt right.
She almost gave up hope when her grandfather told a joke, and it came out the sweet sound of joy.
Her authentic laugh
A name of two thousand years old
And I was afraid of feeling old
So I called you honey bear, or Tarzan even though you were lanky and not strong
Over time even just the sound of your name brought comfort
But now the sound of your name as I utter it it burns my tongue
Feels like poison to the memory of sweetness but the pain of the present
It is chawing at me, eating my flesh,
I try to put it at easy
But it persists
It has gone where no confusion has gone before
Consumed by its endless spiral staircase
For the first time in my life, I couldn’t sing
Couldn’t arise shake off the dust
Too long have you swelled in the value of tears
I try not to fear,
Your light has come, rise and shine.
hope you have enjoyed reading them!
would love to hear thoughts!
oh how i wish i could for real be able to express everything that it going on, but sometimes life is too complicated, wonderful, hard, painful, to put into words.