Don’t count me out.
I’m not young.
In fact, I am rightfully considered to be among the elders of our community.
But I didn’t grow up in yeshivish Judaism, and my knowledge, is how shall we say…
Limited by the circumstances of my origin.
I’m acutely aware of it here, in Jerusalem, at Pardes.
Nonetheless, I am proud of the place I came from: my parents, my grandparents, who taught me to be strong and forthright, to care about other human beings, and to try to make the world a better place.
Do you dare to tell me for one instant that I can’t convey dedication to our shared tradition, Love for G!d, reverence for the power of the calendar, gratitude for existence
to my kahal?
I’ll tell you, “I can”.
I dream of a world united,
A place where hope is realized.
I hear my brothers and sisters singing together.
I think, maybe, maybe, there is an entity that we call G!d, who is happy with my thanks.
I think maybe, maybe,
I can just be, and it is enough
Tag Archives: dreams
[Alumni Guest Post] I also have a dream?
Dan (Year '10) shared the following reflection on Facebook... his writing is poignant as usual!
Dear MLK: from one flawed human being to another flawed human being who changed the world – how did you do it? How did you see a different reality when others said there’s no chance that it will come true? Did you lean on others at that moment? Maybe you trusted your faith?
Every year I see your “I have a dream” speech on your birthday. God, how you believed in that dream, and hundreds of thousands of people believed in it with you, and together you changed the world, and I grew up in a reality in the United States that now has an African American president, a reality that you didn’t get to see, but bequeathed to us.
I’m also formulating a dream. Continue reading
[Alumni Guest Post] Alissa Thomas: ‘It’s More Than a Feeling’: A Reflection on Zionism
Zionism has become a touchy subject for many people in today’s post-modern culture, but here’s a beautiful, articulate piece that describes Pardes alum Alissa Thomas’ (Spring ’11) personal relationship to the concept of Zionism and the modern state of Israel:
From alum Alissa Thomas' Sh'ma Blog:
As expected, everyone is thinking, talking, and praying about Israel right now.
Perhaps we feel as though there is a tether tied around our own hearts and identities, and its opposite end is bound up in Israel’s future.
Or maybe as North American Jews, we are frightened for our loved ones who live there and of the implications of what uncertainty in Israel means here.
Maybe we even feel guilty for being Jews who benefit from the existence of the State of Israel but who are currently far from it.
Or better yet, perhaps we are not really sure why our stomachs sink upon reading the news, but nevertheless we just can’t shake the feeling.
Is this what Zionism feels like? Continue reading
[Alumni Guest Post] Shira Abramowitz – The Burden of Legacy: It is no dream.
Shira has left us for another adventure, and we miss her... But her insightful writing continues (x-posted here below)!

Shira Bee
Legacy.
A pretty big word around here.
Here being Jerusalem, a city that many nations hold dear due to its history and importance in relation to their people, their culture, their religion. As a proud member of the Jewish religion and culture, I find this place resonates with me on an impossibly deep level. I feel the ties to the land, not magically or mythologically, but rather in a historical sense; with understanding and awe that my ancestors have considered this land sacred for longer than I can truly comprehend. That this land has served as a place of refuge and of tragedy, of life and of death. And that the experience I have today while living in Jerusalem is inextricably tied to the experience my ancestors had in this land so long ago. Continue reading
[Pardes from Jerusalem Podcast] MiKetz 5773: Yosef and Tzafnat Paneach
Week 39:
(X-posted from my home blog, Yinzer in Yerushalayim)
So this is it. The end. It’s over. After Shabbat, I’m going to see everyone again in the fall at best, never at worst. Still, this is ultimately what I signed up for, to become a Pardes Alum.
I’m almost positive that from the moment I touch down in Pittsburgh and for the entire rest of my life, I’ll have to really try hard to convince myself that this whole year wasn’t a dream—usually a good dream, sometimes a bad dream, but always a dream nonetheless, certainly when compared to the reality I used to know. I don’t know how long it will take to readjust to reality (i.e. America), but even if I do readjust, I’m not the same person I was when I left, I’m much tanner now. I’m also wiser, know tons more Torah and can’t wait to live and teach it to whomever I can however I can, know much more Hebrew and Aramaic, have a wider circle of friends, can cook more things. I am more independent and more dependent, more optimistic and more jaded than I was ten months ago. I will have to get used to the weekend being Saturday and Sunday, to being able to understand people on the street, to being able to plug my stuff in without an adapter, to knowing exactly what signs are saying, to supermarkets not having sales related to my holidays, to being a minority, to shoving and being shoved not being acceptable means of getting where you need to go (I am so not ready for Wisconsin), to knowing what the hell is going on around me.
Mikketz, Chanukah, the Holocaust, and Dreams: a D’var Torah from 2009
At my shul back home, Young People’s Synagogue, members take turns giving the d’var Torah each Saturday morning. This is one I gave for Parashat Mikketz/Shabbat Chanukah on December 19, 2009 about the parsha, Chanukah, and the Holocaust. For what it’s worth, these themes repeated themselves again this year when we began learning about the Holocaust in Turning Points in Modern Jewish History today.
Shabbat Shalom. This week’s parsha, Mikketz, is the middle of three parishot comprising the saga of Joseph, making this sort of The Empire Strikes Back of Torah portions. And speaking of Empires striking back, today is, of course, also the last day of Hanukkah. The almost annual juxtaposition of Chanukah and Mikketz naturally got me to thinking for this dvar about what they have in common, what new things we could learn when we add these two Jewish stories together, and I discovered the answer comes in Psalm 30, mizmor shir chanukat haBayit, the one we’ve been reading twice every morning all week. One verse in particular stands out, verse 4: “O Lord, You have brought my soul from the grave; You have revived me from my decent into the Pit.” This almost feels like it could be a quote from Joseph after he is literally saved from the pit twice—once when he is sold into slavery and again when he is called out of jail by Pharaoh and named viceroy, and from the Maccabees after defeating the greatest empire on Earth and saving Judaism. With this in mind, it could also be the renascent shout of survivors and of the Jewish People after experiencing the horrors and then the triumphs of the mid-twentieth century. This extension of the theme forced itself on me in a big way Friday before last and has been on my mind ever since.
Dr. Bob Mendler was a survivor. He survived Auschwitz and nine other Concentration Camps during the Holocaust, and no one else in his family did. Since he had no one left in Europe, where a total of 89 of his family members were murdered, he moved to Latrobe, where a relative owned a shoe store he would eventually take over, Mendler’s Shoes, a local institution until he closed it upon retirement. Also in America, he took as a wife a woman he met on a blind date, Joan Pretter, my paternal Grandmother’s cousin, and he also became very close family friends with another prominent local Jewish business man, Morton Glick, my maternal grandfather, OBM and proprietor of Morty’s Men’s Wear.
Uncle Bob would suffer health complications his entire life. He had no family outside his nuclear one, Aunt Joanie died last April, MSRiP, and he once said he had aspirations for college and a great career in something I don’t remember before the war came when he was 13 and ruined his plans. Yet part of the reason his store became such an institution was his warm, bubbly personality. He was alive in the truest sense, living in America with a wife and 2 sons to carry on his name, plus he had community and great friends- what more could anybody want? Plus he was keeping the memory alive. He spent most of his later years speaking and lecturing all over the region, but especially at St. Vincent’s and Seton Hill Universities, where he received an honorary doctorate, and taught about his life story, relentlessly preached tolerance, diversity, and love for all people, and touched countless lives. Some would say he had every right to have been bitter, but he knew bitterness only creates problems and solves none.
Some of you may remember an article I wrote for the Chronicle last summer that featured our own Shulamit and another survivor, Julia Weingarten. When we met, Julia mentioned she was looking for someone to tell her story, and I said, if I had a minute like over Christmas break or something, I’d be glad to. When Christmas break first started beckoning right around the corner after Thanksgiving, I contacted Jewish Family & Children’s Services to see if Julia was still interested. I was supposed to receive a phone call from Therese, her caretaker whose work was the article’s main focus any day to let me know. Almost an entire week went by, and I heard nothing. Then, last Friday afternoon, as I was in the library watching the movie Aliens in preparation for writing a final paper about its subtle anti-Semitism for my pop culture class, I received a phone call from my mother. Uncle Bob, who always seemed so full of life, had had a freak heart-attack Thursday afternoon and died. While I was still coping with this, not ten minutes later, Therese called to say Julia was thrilled with the idea. That’s when I knew something big was definitely going on here.
One of the themes the Rabbis stress in the Joseph story is that of maintaining your identity in a foreign culture while still being an integral part of it, like Joseph was able to do in Egypt. The Hanukkah story, meanwhile, is our more extreme anti-assimilation story—oil doesn’t mix, after all. During the Holocaust, cheredim and heretics were targeted equally, yet, like Joseph was able to do in Egypt, what the Maccabees did in the Temple, and what many survivors of the Shoah were and are able to do,they each in their own way kept the flame of their Jewish heritage burning through the darkness that surrounded them, and ultimately, that’s what Jews do—keep the flame burning no matter what. The darkness increases each night of Chanukah this year, while simultaneously the chanukiah burns ever brighter in noble resistance. This flame that it burns is Torah, this flame is human dignity, this flame is knowledge that teaching and learning in order to do are holy acts. And these are flames the Egyptians, the Hellenists, the Nazis, and indeed all our oppressors refused to be warmed by. As Chief Rabbi Dr. Sir Lord Jonathan Sacks [exhale] (such nakhas!) said earlier this week in his maiden address to the House of Lords, “In ancient times the Egyptians built pyramids, the Greeks built temples, the Romans built amphitheaters. Jews built schools. And because of that, alone among ancient civilizations, Judaism survived.”
This all leads back to Jewish dreams, miracles. Joseph’s dreams became fulfilled, but at what cost to his family? Uncle Bob dreamed of a whole different path for his life before the War came, yet for all the difficult turns his life took, he never lost the air of a man living the American dream. Dreams, like the flames of a chanukiah, burn brightly in the dark for a while in some not-quite physical state before flickering out, only to live on in the tangible residue they leave behind. My favorite band, Rush, has a song about dreams called “Nocturne”, and two of its best lyrics are the refrain, “Did I have a dream, or did the dream have me?” and the verse “On the instant of waking another world of dreams appears.” And the cold, hard reality is that this is absolutely true. Why do we conflate dreams with utopianism; when was the last time anybody can remember having a dream that was wholly good? So we do live in a world of dreams… and nightmares are dreams too, don’t forget. Hitler dreamed of a world free of Jews every bit as much as Herzl dreamed of a Jewish homeland in the Holy Land. Thank God, Herzl’s was more prophetic.
Wednesday morning I met with Julia for our first session together. The night before, for the first time ever, I dreamt I was in the Holocaust. It wasn’t a very realistic dream—just before Mengele was about to cut all my toes off, my best friends from high school who I still hang out with, all gentiles, came and comforted me, and then my alarm went off and the dream went out like a candle-flame in the wind. But it was a dream nonetheless, and one that for many people would have been much preferable to reality.
So we are living dreams, miracles, for better or for worse, and the existence of breathing, praying, learning, loving Jews is the greatest miracle of them all. Thousands of years ago, we dreamt we would be an eternal people no matter what happened. It was so crazy, so nonsensical for a tiny tribe of the Ancient Near-East to think it would not only be an eternal people but a blessing for the world no less, that a dream is all it could possibly have been. And yet,through many tears and a few triumphs, it has come true, just like we knew it would, and it continues to come true each day Jews live and live like Jews. If the Mikketz/Chanukah/Holocaust connection that has forced itself on me these past 2 weeks teaches anything it is this: If it is true what the Rabbis say, that for every event that happens in this world there is its equivalent in Heaven, then perhaps since one of the most beautiful sights I know is seeing Hanukkah candles burning ever brighter in the cold night, year-in-year-out, perhaps one of God’s is seeing Jewish souls and dreams do the same, year-in and year-out. No matter what. Shabbat Shalom and Chag Chanukah Sameakh.
Night Seder Dvar: Vayeishev
Our parasha, Vayeishev, concludes this week with Yosef sitting in the prison of Pharaoh. Yosef has just concluded interpreting the dreams of his fellow prisoners, the cupbearer and the baker, both of whom had committed relatively minor crimes in the eyes of Pharoah. Why would Yosef care about the dreams of anybody? Remember, Yosef has been thrown into a pit, sold to traders, and wrongfully imprisoned. He has every reason to ignore or be fearful of any stranger who enters his world, after all he was betrayed by his own brothers. However, he does not go in that direction. Instead, he notices the fury burning in the faces of Pharaoh’s inmates, asks about their well-being, and even interprets their dreams. After his apparent unconditional kindness the cupbearer forgot about Yosef.
Our tradition takes advantage of countless opportunities to inform us of the importance of unconditional love and kindness. Notably, Vayikra 19:18 states, “you should love your neighbor as yourself.” Additionally, two mishnayot in Pirkei Avot (Chapters of the Fathers) come to mind. Mishna 1:2 states that the world stands on three things. Torah, Avoda (service of Gd), and gemilut chasidim (loving kindness). Later in the same chapter, mishna 15, we are taught that we must greet every person with a pleasant countenance. In the negative formulation, sinat chinam (baseless hatred) was the cause of previous downfalls, according to traditional interpretations. The imperative for kindness clearly has roots throughout our texts, undoubtedly there are other examples. This still does not show the either the extent or the reasoning for Yosef’s behavior.
Breshit 39:21 tells us that Yosef had a Gd given chesed within him. Rashi explains, using a mishna from Ketubot that the chesed caused his face to radiate similar to the face of a beautiful bride. Aside from the divine inspiration, there was simply no reason for Yosef’s demeanor, as we mentioned, Yosef had every reason to have his suspicions, especially of those with whom he was sharing a cell. What makes Yosef’s actions even more remarkable to me is that the ferocity that he saw in the faces of the baker and cupbearer did not deter him from inquiring about their wellbeing. Chapter 40:6 uses the word zoafim which from Kings 1 20:43 and Micha we know means a certain type of fury. It seems like we now have a better idea of the extent of Yosef’s actions, approaching two fiercely angry men in prison at a time when he himself should be looking over his shoulder.
Thus, Yosef should be our model to unconditionally ask, listen, and interpret.
Close your eyes and imagine it is just after five, classes have concluded, or the office has just closed, the day has been a disaster. Your gemara reading was off, the boss pointed out every mistake, lunch was cold, the big merger fell through, you cried in class, the computer crashed. We have all been in situations like this, frustrated, angry, or a handful of other unpleasant emotions.
Imagine, somebody unconditionally notices your dilemma, asks, listens, and interprets.
http://shibbleseyes.blogspot.com/
2 D’vrei Torah for P’Noach: One Socially Conscious, the Other Subconscious
Once upon a time, a Middle-Eastern nation wanted to build a tower with its top in the heavens to make a name for itself. This tower would be a powerful monument to their civilization’s unsurpassed greatness and modernity. They even refused to announce what the final height of the building would be until it was finished lest another nation build something greater before their tower was finished.
The tower I am referring to, of course, is the 2,723 ft. tall Burj Khalifa in Dubai, completed in 2010 and currently the largest structure in the world. But the similarities between this tower and the one in Babel we read about in this week’s parsha run deeper than this. There is a Midrash that, during construction of Babel’s tower, when a worker fell to his death, no one noticed, but when a brick fell everybody cried. Similarly, Dubai’s tower was built by frequently abused and mistreated poor south Asian migrant workers earning from $7 to $4.50 a day. This is symptomatic of a wider problem—that of the “guest workers,” who make up roughly 80% of the United Arab Emirates’ population, yet enjoy none of the rights and privileges of UAE citizens, have no opportunity of becoming citizens, and receive little political representation or access to social aid. The problem is similar for guest workers in several “developed” nations.
Who says Biblical stories aren’t true?
As the Babylonians are building, the Torah says, “The Lord came down to look at the city and tower that man had built.” They had the largest tower in the world, with its top in the heavens, yet still God had to “look down” to see what they had built. In contrast to this, Abraham stands “before God” (Gen. 18:22) when pleading for Sodom and Gomorra, and is commanded as part of the Covenant to “walk before” God “and be perfect” (17:1). Similarly, meek Moses, the humblest man on Earth (Num. 12:3) spoke to God “face-to-face as one speaks to his friend” (Ex. 33:11). I think the lesson for us here is obvious: If we want to truly build monuments that will last, if we truly wish to live up to our potential for greatness as humans and bring God down to earth, we can only do so by building towering relationships, by being kind to others and helping the immigrant and the stranger. This means God doesn’t care what we build, He cares how we treat the builders. Beavers can build dams, spiders webs, ants colonies comparatively greater than what we can do all on their own, without any help nor tools nor pollution. God is not impressed by our constructions, none could possibly compare or compete with His creation or His greatness. This means the size and aesthetic beauty of our Jewish homes and structures mean nothing if they do not serve as means to the end of teaching people to act humbly and respect the Image of God that all humanity is created in. As Jeremiah says in God’s name, “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight” (9:23-24).
Shabbat shalom.
Sources:
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/texts/Bible/Weekly_Torah_Portion/noah_ajws2.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burj_Khalifa
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/mar/23/brianwhitaker.mainsection
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So the night before I wrote this (Thursday night), I Skyped with my Grandfather. Just before I woke up, I had a dream about him (who,while very proudly Jewish is not particularly religiously observant) giving a powerful speech in shul about how everyone chooses their own story and uses it to give themselves meaning in life, and by living a certain way, you become a part of the story you choose. For example, if you buy into the capitalist worldview and act in the world as a capitalist, you are becoming a part of the capitalist narrative, or if you really love Star Wars and it inspires you to fight imperialism and train like a Jedi, you have made yourself a part of the Star Wars story, and have helped make the world a little more like the Star Wars universe (these examples I just thought of now, I don’t remember which examples Grandpa brought specifically in the dream, but I know that this was his point). He concluded the speech by saying that to observe the Sabbath is to identify with and make yourself a part of the Jewish story and help remake the world more according to Jewish ideals. I thought this was beautiful and felt so proud of Grandpa and was even a little envious that I could never think of something so inspiring when I woke up.
Once up, I got to thinking about this in the context of Parashat Noach and the ideas that had been swirling around in my mind in preparation for writing the above. At first it seemed to have no relevance, but I now think it’s perfect. From the point of view of someone (not me) who wants to believe the Bible is literally true, Parsha Noach is perhaps the most difficult parsha not only because its stories are so far-fetched but because they don’t even concern Jews. But Grandpa and I have a different view. It’s been powerfully pointed out in many places (such as in the Soncino/Hertz Chumash in Etz Hayyim) that what most distinguishes the Noah story from other ancient flood myths is its unique concern for morality and righteousness. Similarly, as seen above, the Tower of Babel teaches a remarkably inspiring (or at least I think so) lesson about the dangers of materialism and the value of human life. So, according to my Grandpa’s teaching, when we bring the Jewish obsession with morality, justice, and compassion in to our lives—into our own personal narratives—we make these stories true now by making the world more moral, just, and compassionate. And by making them true, we are in turn making ourselves a part of the Jewish story and making it more true in the story of the world.
[PEP Student] Dreams and Designation
Dear Friends,
I hope you are all doing well. Hard to believe that I’ve recently celebrated my second Thanksgiving (both in Israel!) and that Channukah is around the corner. Time is really flying by – but I guess that’s a good sign! This week, I’d like to dedicate these words of Torah to my Zaidy, Leo Wolynetz, on the occasion of his 84th birthday. May he continue to inspire me to actualize my dreams and model the management of those of others!
Last week, when I was reviewing the parsha, there were SO many things that came to mind and I felt were worth sharing. But I decided to choose a particular undertone of the parsha, which, in my humble opinion, is often unacknowledged within stories of Joseph and his brothers.
If I had to sum up the saga between Joseph and his family very briefly, I would say it is about DREAMS and DESIGNATION.
What do I mean?
Last week’s parsha, Vayeshev, begins the series of narratives about, as the musical calls it, “Jacob and Sons”. (I will try to bring in as many references to the musical “Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat” as I can!) Immediately, the Torah tells us that Joseph speaks ill of his brothers and that he is singled out from the rest of them as he is loved by his father. Putting aside many of the explanations behind the descriptions given to Joseph and the significance of his ktonet hapasim, his special coat, it is clear that tension is rising among the siblings. Without pointing fingers as to who is at fault here — whether Jacob for explicitly favouring his son, Joseph for flaunting his elevated status and abilities, or the brothers for dismissing and discarding responsibility for Joseph — without a doubt there are conflicts of interest here. Each party has its own agenda and is seeking to actualize its vision for what should be. In this vein, the image of the brothers as shepherds and the sheep is instructive of the dynamic between the brothers; they are constantly struggling to designate who among them is the ‘sheep’ and who will lead as the ‘shepherd’ (Gen 37:12-13). Joseph believes that his dreams of surpassing his brothers will and must come to fruition; Jacob believes that Joseph should be exalted among his children; and the brothers claim “We’re great guys but no-one seems to notice!” (musical reference!)
But I think the conflict is best expressed in the text, as the brothers do not want Joseph to remain the ba’al chalomot, master of dreams. (Gen. 37:19)
In other words, this family is attempting to manage a tug-of-war of its members and their ambitions. Everyone wants to bring to life his/her desires and needs, and express those individually. However, this can only be done if there is mutual understanding and respect for one another, in addition to creating space for all and maybe knowing when to follow (like sheep) instead of spearhead.
It seems to me that the message of the parsha may resonate with our experiences as well. Many of our family members, friends and communities see the world differently than us. They see their abilities and roles as unique and wish to share them with others. But so do we! Now, if each of us feels as though s/he is competing with one another for resources, space and support, none of us will get very far. And so, I think the challenge of the parsha, as reflected in the story of Jacob’s family, is to figure out HOW to allocate roles and distribute power without quashing individual dreams.
And yet, sometimes I wonder: Is this narrative suggesting that some dreams are more real or important than others? After all, although Joseph is exiled from his family, he does eventually rule over his brothers, once they go down to Egypt! Or, is there a way to actualize multiple visions for the future, while some might undermine others?
I’d like to think that instead of (secretly or openly) plotting against one another, we would be better served if we were to share our visions for our relationships, professional lives, communities, and more largely, our visions for the State of Israel and the world. The key is to share our dreams so that we can designate time and place and appropriate roles for everyone, some more powerful than others.
This model especially speaks to me in light of some recent powerful experiences I’ve had in meeting with Palestinians in Bethlehem last week, accompanying a friend in the midst of an Orthodox conversion to meet with the Bet Din (rabbinical court) in Israel, and on a very personal level trying to navigate professional goals which might conflict with my colleagues’ hopes. The list goes on…
So the questions remain:
How do we share our dreams and delegate roles to enable them without suppressing the aspirations of others?
And when do we follow the lead of others?
I’m not sure the parsha gives us any guidance in answering this question….
I welcome your feedback!
Shavua tov,
Tamara

