An outlander arrives in J-town.
Not my first time and G!d-willing, not my last.
In a newish role: student, not teacher!
The book is open.
Disequilibrium: distance from home and life partner,
Jitters, does anyone understand who I am?
Do I understand who I am
In this novel circumstance?
Throughout the year I have studied here in Jerusalem, I have learned that the Wall has its own identity crisis. It is part of a larger structure that was built and carried, lost, built again and then destroyed, and built again, and built over again and destroyed again. There are more stages in between of deeper and deeper details. The figurative symbol of complete purity, it was more often an embodiment of utter corruption. The man who inspired the design of the particular Wall before which we stand today was a gifted, paranoid maniac, maddened by grief and riches and conflicting loyalties. The Temple itself, and the Wall it became, changed owners and took on ideologies of shocking variance over the centuries. And yet here it still stands, a testament to physical stability, containing all of its tumultuous history behind the serenity of its stones.
On the first Shabbat I was in Jerusalem, I walked with a group of very new friends into the Old City for the first time. I knew nothing about it except that it was the last of the Temple, a remnant of a Judaism from long ago, one with which I had trouble relating, but that it was “supposed to”, maybe, inspire a surge of feeling within me. Perhaps a feeling of closeness to the Divine? Perhaps an intense unification with the Jewish people? Perhaps bafflement or even, perhaps nothing? I was curious, and determined not to judge whatever feeling arose. Continue reading
From my blog:
This piece was an assignment for the Hartman Rabbinical Students Seminar. We were asked to choose one poem or song that we studied and one other piece of text that we studied, share a line or a paragraph from each and a reflection on it. Ever the overachiever, I ended up weaving together themes from three different pieces.
Rabbi Hiyya heard & said, “Oy! The high ones are busy with learning inside the house and I am sitting on the outside!” And he wept. Continue reading
I can’t believe we are down to our last 5 weeks in Israel! David Bernstein said that it would absolutely fly by, but I never realized how right he was! I feel like my time in Israel is slipping away, and there are so many things still on my bucket list!
I have had such an incredible time, with so many memories! But I know that the connections that I made here will continue on even once we have all left and headed back to our homes. Friendships can cross all distances.
I wonder what it will be like to be back in Canada! I am really excited to see all of my friends and family, and go back to my old hangouts, but I know I am going to miss the energy and openness that I found here. It’s unlike anything I had ever experienced.
Stuart
From my blog:
ד׳ באייר תשע״ג
April 14, 2013
יום ראשון Yom Rishon, the first day (of the week) meaning Sunday…
[I’ve decided to try to write seemingly mundane highlights for blog posts from now on since it has been so difficult for me to actually invest time in the extremely detailed descriptions I initially wrote many moons ago.]
I begin my day with the sunshine and birds’ sweet songs streaming into my bedroom from the window which opens onto my balcony.
On my walk to school two high school boys pass me, apparently reviewing for an exam, and I overhear one say to the other, ”רש”י אומר” which means “Rashi says” … Rashi is a French medieval commentator of Jewish text who is seen as the father of all commentators.
Starting last week, balconies and cars began to display Israeli flags in anticipation of the holidays observed this week and next, יום הזכרון, Yom HaZikaron, Memorial Day, יום העצמאות, Yom HaAtzmaut, Independence Day, and יום ירושלים, Yom Yerushalayim, Jerusalem Day. This morning I noticed even more flags waving in the wind from balconies, in front of schools and businesses… Continue reading
Tonight is the night.
No, I am not OK.
No, you can not help.
No, you do not understand.
No, I am not alone.
Tonight is the night I dread all year. All the ghosts that have been pushed into the shadows (with the exception of the occasional visit) come out. Tonight is their night. Tonight I am the visitor, the intruder. Tonight they will shove me another drink, just to keep me quiet, while they sit around and reminisce. Tonight I will stand, along with every Israeli and Jew in the world, and remember the brave men and women who died for this country, as well as the men, women and children who were massacred in terror attacks over the years. Tonight is the eve of the Day of Remembrance for Israeli Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Terrorism. Continue reading
From my blog:
Photo of Israeli traffic on a major road stopping for 2 minutes for Yom Hashoah
Monday was my second Yom HaShoah in Israel. I was standing in the middle of the partition in the road on Rivkah and Pierre Koenig to get a good view of the people stopping their cars and getting out to pay their respects to the dead when the wail of the memorial siren sounded. Another woman stood with me, her phone out for video taping the streets during the two minutes that all of Israel stops on its tracks, and hopefully, takes the moment to remember what the world has lost. Last year, I was standing in a similar place, quietly battling an inner turmoil that comes with the day, and had been carrying around an ache that had settled from my throat to my chest, like I needed to let out a good cry, when I witnessed the unified mourning of a country at a standstill, even if only for a few moments. This year though, something happened that deeply disturbed me.
During the siren, a single car, a worker’s vehicle, came careening down the road, as if the driver not only refused to stop for those two minutes, but was driving in such a way that indicated that he wanted the rest of us who were standing and acknowledging the siren to know, that he was in no way with us on this. The woman with the camera on the partition stepped out into the road in front of the car to get him to stop, which he was forced to do, and at that point, he was caught at the red light. She shoved the camera close to his smug face through his open window, where he proceeded to Continue reading
From my blog:
Pardesniks listening to the Yom HaShoah siren on the roof of Pardes – by Rachel Rosenbluth (Spring ’13)
There are certain moments in my life where everything has come to a screeching halt. Most of these have just been moments when my personal world, or maybe my family or community, has stopped. Today (Yom HaShoah), I experienced an entire country ceasing all activity – learning, work, driving, shopping – and pause for two minutes to remember to remember the 11 million who perished in the Holocaust – 6 million of whom were Jews, and 1.5 million of whom were children. Children who hadn’t done a single thing wrong except be born into unlucky circumstances. Continue reading
R. Joshua Ratner (Pardes Year ’98-’99) is the rabbi of Congregation Kol Ami in Cheshire, CT. Ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary in May 2012, Rabbi Ratner was a Joseph Neubauer Fellow and also earned a Master’s Degree in Midrash and a Certificate in Pastoral Care. He also worked as an attorney for five years prior to entering rabbinical school. He has received training in congregation-based community organizing and was part of the original rabbinical student cohort of Rabbis Without Borders fellows. He and his wife, Dr. Elena Ratner, are the proud parents of Dimitri, Eli, and Gabriella.
“Dad, why did they have to die? Why couldn’t God have just injured them a little bit?” My boys and I were discussing this week’s parashah, Parashat Shmini, in which Aaron’s eldest sons, Nadav and Avihu, get vaporized by Divine fire after offering “alien fire” incense offerings to God (Vayikra 10:1-2). This episode of seemingly extreme, disproportionate punishment for an unclear violation has perplexed commentators for millenia. Continue reading
Among the many blessings I have experienced this year is the Ayeka course facilitated by David Bogomolny. I share here some of my favourite take-aways from the course (handily preserved in my writing exercises and reflections.)
This module was about bringing God back to the conversation. I felt like it gave me a place to engage with my relationship with God and my beliefs in a spiritual way amidst a year of otherwise mostly intellectual pursuits. I always manage to find my way back to faith and my relationship with God but in the Ayeka sessions, God was our starting point, not only the destination.
Session 4, on the conversation or hitbodedut, took place during the Pillar of Cloud preparations. According to my reflections, hitbodedut at this time came as a welcome relief during a time of confusion, when I felt inarticulate and confused. Here is what I wrote: Continue reading