On Those We Love

My dvar Torah from the Galil Shabbaton:

966447_10151672478759257_1419753744_oFirst of all, I would like to thank Adam Masser (Spring ’12, Year ’13), who gave me the perfect set up — and we didn’t even plan it.

I also am going to talk about lashon ha-rah, specifically the consequences of it. I believe that the most telling understandings of a relationship come from watching the arguments, and that likewise the most penetrating insights into a personality come from the moments of deepest stress. For example, take our favorite “power trio” of Moses, Miriam, and Aaron. For the majority of the time that we see it, this relationship runs like a well-oiled machine: strong, united, and in synch. Moses and Aaron present a united front against Pharaoh and the rebellious among the Bnei Israel, and Miriam stands as both a protective guardian and an emissary to the women of the camp.

And yet, as is often true with siblings, when there is a falling out, it is vicious. “Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses” (Bamidbar 12, 1), and it is serious enough that God, acting almost as a parental figure, responds. Only, the manner in which God chooses to respond is puzzling — unfair. “As the cloud withdrew from the Tent, behold Miriam was stricken with tzarat like snow” (Bamidbar 12, 10). Continue reading

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Ghosts in the night

Tonight is the night.

 

No, I am not OK.

No, you can not help.

No, you do not understand.

No, I am not alone.

 

Tonight is the night I dread all year. All the ghosts that have been pushed into the shadows (with the exception of the occasional visit) come out. Tonight is their night. Tonight I am the visitor, the intruder. Tonight they will shove me another drink, just to keep me quiet, while they sit around and reminisce. Tonight I will stand, along with every Israeli and Jew in the world, and remember the brave men and women who died for this country, as well as the men, women and children who were massacred in terror attacks over the years. Tonight is the eve of the Day of Remembrance for Israeli Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Terrorism. Continue reading

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In Pain, but Numb.

From my blog:
Photo of Israeli traffic on a major road stopping for 2 minutes for Yom Hashoah

Photo of Israeli traffic on a major road stopping for 2 minutes for Yom Hashoah

Monday was my second Yom HaShoah in Israel. I was standing in the middle of the partition in the road on Rivkah and Pierre Koenig to get a good view of the people stopping their cars and getting out to pay their respects to the dead when the wail of the memorial siren sounded. Another woman stood with me, her phone out for video taping the streets during the two minutes that all of Israel stops on its tracks, and hopefully, takes the moment to remember what the world has lost. Last year, I was standing in a similar place, quietly battling an inner turmoil that comes with the day, and had been carrying around an ache that had settled from my throat to my chest, like I needed to let out a good cry, when I witnessed the unified mourning of a country at a standstill, even if only for a few moments. This year though, something happened that deeply disturbed me.

During the siren, a single car, a worker’s vehicle, came careening down the road, as if the driver not only refused to stop for those two minutes, but was driving in such a way that indicated that he wanted the rest of us who were standing and acknowledging the siren to know, that he was in no way with us on this. The woman with the camera on the partition stepped out into the road in front of the car to get him to stop, which he was forced to do, and at that point, he was caught at the red light. She shoved the camera close to his smug face through his open window, where he proceeded to Continue reading

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The Sirens Blared

From my blog:
Pardesniks listening to the Yom HaShoah siren on the roof of Pardes - by Rachel Rosenbluth (Spring '13)

Pardesniks listening to the Yom HaShoah siren on the roof of Pardes – by Rachel Rosenbluth (Spring ’13)

There are certain moments in my life where everything has come to a screeching halt. Most of these have just been moments when my personal world, or maybe my family or community, has stopped. Today (Yom HaShoah), I experienced an entire country ceasing all activity – learning, work, driving, shopping – and pause for two minutes to remember to remember the 11 million who perished in the Holocaust – 6 million of whom were Jews, and 1.5 million of whom were children. Children who hadn’t done a single thing wrong except be born into unlucky circumstances. Continue reading

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[Alumni Guest Post] Reflections on Psalm 16 – Psalm One of the Tikkun HaClali

Rabbi Brent Spodek (Year '01) reflects upon the Role of Pain:

bspoWe fear pain.

We fear events that twist our hopes, catastrophes that strain our bodies, indignities that weary our spirit. When we suffer, our pain becomes all we can see, so that the best we can do is grind on, endure, make it from today till tomorrow.

We carry these terrible burdens on our backs like 100-pound weights and more than anything, we hope someone will help carry them, even if just for a little while. When nobody comes we feel alone, isolated. Even when friends and loved ones walk with us, offering to carry our weight, we find it cannot always be shifted or shared.

The Psalmist gives voice to this sense of abandonment, “My good fortune is not Your concern.” (טוֹבָתִי בַּל-עָלֶיךָ; Ps 16:2; translation, R. Harlan Wechsler). For the Psalmist, at least at this moment, Continue reading

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The only way to leave mitzraim is out of love

From my blog:

When I asked him why he made the haggadah he took a step back and gave me a weird shocked face, and said, “no one has asked me that question.” I also looked surprised, “no one has ever asked you why you wanted to make a haggadah?” He replied, “Well, not tonight.” (three hours into a five hour open art haggadah gallery of in the fancy Inbal hotel)

He then goes on to tell me why he made the haggadah. His wife got diagnosed with cancer around Passover time, went through chemo; and eventually, Continue reading

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Dare I Rant?

From my blog:
I need a man, not a monkey.

I need a man, not a monkey.

I am usually a very tolerant person, especially when people are trying to understand human diversity. I will kindly explain that, no, Connecticut is not New York and that, yes, I would rather watch reruns of “Gilmore Girls” than new episodes of “Jersey Shore.” I will gladly explain that I would much rather bake with a guy than go to a bar with him, and I’ll even accept his offers to get things for me from high shelves.

But this weekend, I reached a limit. There comes a point when I can no longer make jokes about all the things I should make jokes about.
The scene: Friday night dinner with a few Pardes students and a wealthy British family.
The subject: Being gluten-free.

It all started off innocuously enough. Continue reading

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Gemara and roses

This wound
This wound.
Hurts.
I look but can’t find it
Hiding under layers of scar.
Will it hurt more to hold it open to light?

I blow on it. Blow away dust.
Reveal the bones.
Step through the field; take the unclean road.
For the sake of dignity,
I sing in the dark and blow.

Mother?
Mother, can you hear me?
I’m old now.
My hair is turning gray and my knees ache.
Tell me, have I missed something?
Do I love enough, laugh enough?
What does my life look like from your place?
Will my crops grow well this year?

Mincha
This is their time.
The roses bloom in winter.
At mid-day, they perfume the air.
If my heart could open like this rose,
My prayers would answer me.

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[PCJE Dvar Torah] Brokenness and Radiance by Heather Kantrowitz

gcParshat Ki Tissa contains a myriad of events, most notably, the incident of the Golden Calf. When Moses descends Mount Sinai after 40 days and nights in preparation for receiving the 10 Commandments, he discovers the people dancing around this molten calf. He then “hurled the tablets from his hand and shattered them at the foot of the mountain.” Later on in the parsha, Moses once again ascends the mountain to receive a new set of tablets from God.

btOne of the events that I wondered about as I read this parsha is what happened to the broken tablets. I assumed they were inherently holy, being inscribed by the finger of God. I also rationalized that shattered tablets would serve no functional purpose – so what became of them?

In Talmud Bavli Berakhot 8b, we learn that the broken tablets were Continue reading

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He Left Words on a Page

From my blog:

I was in the middle of writing another post, but this one needed to come out first. I spent all day hiding these words inside – please read them now and know.

As many of you know, there was a shooting yesterday in College Park, MD. It was a small shooting. Only three people were involved. Two of them ended up dead – the shooter and one of his victims.

But one death is all it takes. One death makes a shooting deadly. One death can collapse the worlds of ripples and ripples of people.

I am on the edge of one of these ripples. Continue reading

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