A Dvar Torah I wrote for my Synagogue:

523047_3320892264663_1912122470_nShabbat Shalom Pardes. I wanted to share a portion of my Dvar torah that I am giving to my Shul tonight…

Shabbat Shalom,

 

Last week as my facebook followers know I was standing on a mountain over the dead sea welcoming the Sabbath at a meditation retreat. If I close my eyes I can still feel that crisp dry air and see the warmth of the Negev. This Shabbat I am here with open eyes looking out into the warmth of my CBTBI Synagogue family. I flew in on the 25th because last week I received a call from the Gift of Life Bone Marrow Donation center saying that I was a match to donate peripheral stem cells to a 56 year old women with leukemia. As my dad beautiful pointed out, My last trip to the states was for a death and now with one is for a life. My brother is also a match for her or another patient. It is amazing to me to share in the mitzvah of saving a life with my brother. No matter who ends up doing the donation the fact that we are both dedicated and ready to do as they need is a huge life changing mitzvah. We both signed up to be in the Gift of Life registry while on Birthright together. I think I speak for both of us when I say that while having our cheek swabbed and signing our name we didn’t exactly think down the line to actually being matched to save someone’s life. Gift of life helps to match Jews who are in need of bone marrow or stem cells and don’t have a family member that matches them to donate. We are in the national registry as well but Gift of life facilitates the matching of the Jewish community because of the higher chances of matching a fellow Jew because of our shared origins. We are keeping the patient in our prayers and hoping that one of us will be able to help her and her family as we would hope someone would be there to helps our if needed. I would love to discuss the process and how you can also sign up for the registry with you if you would like more information.

 

While I am plugging life changing organizations I want to take a moment to tell you about where it is I am studying in Israel. I am receiving my masters in Jewish education at Pardes Institute of Jewish learning. I live in an apartment in Jereusalem and study in a yeshiva style everyday at pardes. My time there so far has taught me so much about myself and my abilities. I study Talmud and Torah with some of the most learned rabbi’s in Jerusalem. They each have a unique teaching style and all encourage personal interpretation to our ancient texts. I also would love to talk to you about my time there and about the varying programs that they offer for all ages and levels.

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Talent Show!

Before there was an operation that was almost a war that kept me on the edge of my seat as much as it sat in the back of my mind, we went on a tiyyul. Tiyyul is a sort of quintessentially Israeli thing. It’s not a field trip. It’s a journey somewhere, but it’s short, and you know you’re meant to come back. Tiyyul is a group forcing their way into the liminal space where bonds are forged, and then allowing themselves to be expelled again.

Tiyyul often has a talent show.

It’s only fitting that a place like the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies has a bunch of weirdos with amazingly strange talents. It’s even more fitting that my exposure to these talents occurred in a fake bedouin tent in the middle of the Negev.

A word, if I may, about the tent: I’m pretty sure it’s a sin to have buildings built this way. Probably because there was some witchcraft involved. This “tent” was an inside made out of OUTSIDES! It was just Continue reading

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במדבר

Originally posted on my blog:

“The desert, when the sun comes up…
I couldn’t tell where Heaven stopped and the Earth began.
It was so beautiful.”

-Forrest Gump

Here are some pictures from my school’s trip to the Negev desert two weeks ago. (Pictures are better quality if you click on them!)

Israel, you are so beautiful.

First day hike: Nahal Peres

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Gaza, the Negev, and…Australia?

Originally posted on my blog:

Hey, I’ve certainly been keeping busy over the past few weeks but I’ll hone in on this most recent week since a lot has been going on recently.

The first thing I’d like to say is that, although from the media explosion through internet and TV it may seem like every square inch of Israel is a war zone and people are freaking out, things are actually quite calm here in Jerusalem. On Friday and over Shabbat, people were walking their dogs, kids were playing with each other in the streets, people were shopping and preparing for Shabbat, and more. Life goes on as usual here in Jerusalem. One air raid siren did go off last night aroun 5 pm, but I was already in Shabbat services then and didn’t hear it, either because we were all too engaged in the excitement of singing and welcoming in Shabbat, and also because we weren’t exactly expecting a siren so weren’t really listening for one. But luckily it hit nowhere near us and in an open field, far away from people. And as for the future, I think the mind set is just to take things day by day and not panic or overreact. But what can you do instead? Pray for the IDF, pray for Israel, and pray for the innocent civilians of Gaza, that this is all over soon.

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Going down the mountain with Sam.

Ein Gedi, freshwater spring of legend, sanctuary of David. In the scorching desert, the Negev. In the mountains above Yam HaMelach, the Dead Sea, the burning sea of salt.

Sam, falling down while climbing out of a gorge carved in a high, rocky outcropping, its steep chutes formed by the rains of a geologic epoch.

Us, lifting our brother up through the narrow way.

Him, on hands and knees, right foot broken in two places, pulling himself up a cliff foot by foot.

Our hands, a protective net–above, behind, below.

Him, hopping along a narrow track, loose with crumbling rock and gravel, far above the floor of the wadi, both hands gripping the wall, gripping our hands, finding a way forward.

We carried him down on our backs, our packs shed, our water gone.

An access road. A jeep arrives. The park service.

We drive to the site of an ancient synagogue, ruins from the time of the talmud. Our friends are waiting, there is water, benches, the road back to Yerushalayim.

Time resumes. The sun hangs low in the sky. Pardes gathers for mincha.

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Dayenu

Originally posted on my blog:

The Kinneret (Sea of Galilee)

There is a particular majesty in cresting a hill and taking in the landscape: the great expanse of the Negev Desert or the sparkle of the Kinneret (Sea of Galilee), the Jordan River or the heights of the Golan. There is a sense of awe when your legs work in concert with all the other parts to keep you balanced physically and mentally with the proper levels of salt and water to propel you up and brace you on the way down. There is a mind-clearing meditation that riding 60 miles a day brings to your brain. And there is a sense of great gratitude that comes with setting a lofty goal and working four months to achieve it.

I am not a thrill seeker in any way. I get no adrenaline rush from going fast or doing dangerous things. My kind of adventure includes exploring new places and meeting new people. And yet, I have chosen for sport to expend much lactic acid and sweat climbing hills and then speeding down them at 35 miles/hour on wheels that are no more than one inch wide wearing no more than a helmet and sunscreen for protection.

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The Veil

I wrote this song last spring during my first semester at Pardes. For me, it is really tied to feelings of peace, joy and confidence that I experienced after going backpacking with fellow Pardesniks Joseph, Andrew, Adrienne and Joseph’s roommate Jonathan. We hiked a few days through the Negev and them tremped to a music festival at Ashram Bamidbar over Pesach break. I had been going through many difficult moments but had a breakthrough during one of the workshops and walked away from it feeling light, serene and clear. Was still feeling amazing several days later when my friend Eric passed me in the Hadar Ohel and suggested I draw something or find a way to capture this sense. The result was this song:

Lean back and open your heart to the sky
Your fears will disappear and your spirit will fly . . .
everything above is made of Love
everything is possible through Love

and it feels so real sometimes
you start to believe it is
and the pain’s so real sometimes you forget to live in bliss
then you peer behind the veil
and discern the mystery
the world we live in
is the world you choose to see

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My Spiritual High at Zorba

Do you ever feel like there is a cage around you? Like you can carry it around but sometimes it gets heavy and tires you down. Perhaps it restrains you from moving in a comfortable way or running to what you really desire. I hadn’t really thought of myself in a cage at all before going to Zorba, a Festival in an Ashram in the Negev. I was unaware of this weight and constraint. Unaware of the energy I was wasting on thoughts and worries and food that are toxic to my being.

The music was pounding and my heart beat was in sync as my arms flowed freely and I felt my feet discover new bumps on the desert ground. I was blindfolded from seeing the outside world and forced only to look inside. To feel the music pulsing through my body, to feel the tension of being nervous and shy, to feel my muscles tense when I felt maybe I would bump someone. I looked deep inside myself as if my thoughts were separate from my rhythmic body movements. That is when I felt it, I swear I could even see it. My cage was opened and my body and mind were free and relaxed. Tension turned into excitement. Stiff calculated movements flowed as if I had been moving this way since birth. We did this dance practice for an hour. During that hour of dancing in the dark I dug deep and felt completely open to my emotions, good and bad as they rushed around. After the music stopped and we laid on our backs looking towards the sky I felt freer than I have ever felt. I felt connected and light. This was the true start of my spiritual high at Zorba.

Let me rewind a bit. Zorba is a festival that is held twice a year. The Ashram Bmidbar (In the Negev) also has other weekend workshops. Naomi Zaslow and I had heard from students last year how amazing the festival was so we excitedly signed up to go over Sukkot. The ride down rt 90 along the Dead Sea was breath taking. We arrived at the Festival set up our tents and went to explore.

Laura (L) and Naomi (R) at Zorba.

The grounds consist of a multitude of tents which they call “Olamim,” worlds. There is a Yoga world, a rebirthing world, a Buddah stage, a healthy eating world, a mystical world and many more. All throughout the day and night you are free to decide which lessons to attend. I was lucky enough to attend two amazing sessions at the healthy eating tent where I took lessons on the benefits of adding more raw food to your diet as well as having a love relationship with your hunger and food. I also took a few free dancing and meditation sessions as I described in the beginning. These were probably the most impactful because the was no real language barrier with dancing and I was able to just let go and feel uninhibited in front of strangers. It was in the dance sessions and the chakra breathing that I discovered what it means to be spiritually high. Our body and mind does not need any substance to feel incredibly good and free. After some of these sessions I felt such intense changes of being recharged spiritually and energetically. I think it is sad that our society runs so fast to using substances to achieve this feeling when there are natural and healthy ways to achieve it.

Lately I have been struggling with the intense sadness of loss because of the passing of my Uncle. It has been physically painful for me to recite the mourners Kaddish with meaning. Sometimes I feel like it comes out robotically and on these days I am grateful because I didn’t have to feel. During a music meditation I had a breakthrough with the mourners Kaddish and tefillah in general. I was standing eyes closed breathing to the music when I had the urged to recite Mincha. Under my breath I went through the service as best as my memory served me. Pausing from traditional text in my head and switching to personal prayer with ease. I was so grateful of the baby steps I have been taking to make prayer meaningful so I would be able to experience such a reward. I came to the time where I would be saying Kaddish in a minyan. A release shot throughout my body as tears rolled down my face and I recited word by word with each breath the mourners Kaddish. Though I was only whispering and no one was answering me I felt as though I was in the presence of a minyan that was also connected to themselves and G-d. I felt the pain more intensely and real than I had expected. When I finished I was out of breath and my body felt like it had run a marathon. I laid on the ground and felt my heart beat against the ground, as it soothed me into a meditative state.

On Shabbat I felt so connected to myself and to Israel. Naomi and I sat in front of our tent dressed in white flowy dresses and lit Shabbat candles that we placed in the center of a rock heart pattern. As people passed, some completely unaware that Shabbat was upon us, we wished them a Shabbat Shalom. There warm smiles and returned wishes were beautiful. The majority of people at the festival were very secular Israelis, but we were all still Jews with a spiritual connection to something. Some people gathered together to make Kiddush and we swayed to drum beats of Shabbat zmirrot. That night I layed out in the desert and stared at the expansive sky. I felt like I was lying amongst my ancestors who wandered the Negev during Biblical times. It was almost like that part in the Lion King when Musafa tells Simba that they can see their ancestors in the stars if they just look hard enough. I felt that laying there open to feeling the energy of the ground I was able to connect with generations of Israelites.

I have so much more I would like to share about this amazing experience. If anyone is interesting in going I would love to talk to you. I see though that recharges like this festival are needed in our busy lives. This was an extreme example, camping for three days at an ashram. In smaller doses though I think even going alone to the park and sitting with yourself and your thoughts can give you the recharge we need in our lives. I hope to take the idea of balance, openness and energy from my experience at Zorba.

I hope everyone had a very Happy Sukkot vacation and I look forward to dancing forward in life with you all.

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Week 37: The Practical Dictionary of the Pardes Lexicon

(X-posted from my home blog, Yinzer in Yerushalayim)

One of the unadvertised perks of Pardes is that after studying holy texts in their original in the Beit Midrash for a whole year, no matter how advanced your Hebrew level, you come away with a black-belt in using dictionaries. Yet I have noticed that for all the dictionaries we have for Jewish religious language, there is, incongruously, not a dictionary of “Pardesian,” that unique jargon you learn upon entering the Orchard. Until now. As a gift to any incoming students who may be reading this and as a memento to those who are leaving, I present this necessarily abridged first edition of The Practical Dictionary of the Pardes Lexicon, heretofore to be known as “The Kwait.” You’re welcome.

Avoda Zara – Idol worship, literally “foreign service.” This is an all-encompassing term used to describe worship of foreign deities and/or the self, and commonly used around the Pardes Beit Midrash to describe any “Jewish” subject that does not involve learning Gemara and/or Halakha. There is a Makhloket about the Tanakh.

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Week 20: The Arava Tiyyul

(X-posted from my home blog, Yinzer in Yerushalayim)

Tuesday through Thursday those of us who didn’t go on the annual Poland trip went on a tiyyul to the Arava. The Arava is a huge rift valley south of the Dead Sea split between Israel and Jordan. Similar to the Negev tiyyul, our primary activities on this tiyyul were hiking, learning about our surroundings, and eating cookies. This time, however, we stayed at Kibbutz Ketura, built on the site of a former military compound almost right along the Jordanian border. Another difference was the people—not only was half the school in Poland, but we were joined by many of the new students for this semester.

It turns out there are few better ways of getting to know new people than by hiking with them. Seeing the new people choose the hard or easy hike, how they conducted themselves on the bus and in the dining hall, what they wore and the kinds of conversations they made during the hike, what kind of cookies they prefer, and how they are as roommates all made much better ways of judging getting to know them than any superficial ice-breaker game ever could have. Of course we played one of those, too—where we all sat in a circle, dug deep within ourselves, and put our ability to properly throw a football on display before the entire group, some of whom we barely knew. Many tears were shed; a few noses were almost broken, but by the end of this intimate exercise, we emerged as a team, closer than ever before. The new kids are awesome.

We began the tiyyul on the limestone sand dunes, a unique geological feature of the Negev. These sand dunes contain some of the finest sand in the world—you can run, roll and jump through it like snow. And we did. Even now, three days later, I’m still brushing it out of my hair, ears, phone, and wallet, but it was worth it.

Following this, those of us on the hard hike trekked five hours from there to the kibbutz, stopping only once every hour or so to eat cookies, while, from what I hear those on the easy hike saw a rather disappointing Leopard Temple.

Wednesday I did the hard 5-hour hike up Har Amir, which contained only a roughly once every 45 minutes cookie-break plus a hybrid lunch/cookie break at the summit.

After the hike, both groups met-up to go to Eilat, about a half-hour drive away. I had never been to Eilat before, and I found that it lived up to the hype of combining the class of the Atlantic City boardwalk with the ambiance of Breezewood.

I shouldn’t complain, there’s some parts of Eilat I really loved: there’s no VAT in the entire city, and at the Gap in the mall, I got a great new pair of jeans and a belt for WAY less than I could have at any store in Jerusalem. It was so cheap in fact that I think the next time I need clothes, if not for the large amount of time it takes to get there, it would be more cost-effective to buy a bus ticket to Eilat and do all my shopping there. Actually, even with the travel time, I would much prefer this to going to the Shuk on a Friday,

Thursday, I did the hard hike up Har Timna, then the even harder hike back down. Unlike the previous two hikes, this one was only four hours long, including at least two cookie-breaks and a food-break on top of the mountain.

We then saw “Solomon’s Pillars” in the Timna Valley.

 

Wednesday night we had a presentation about the Kibbutz then Thursday after lunch we got a tour of it. Ketura is an amazing, inspiring place, and its location is the least of reasons why. It was founded by American Young-Judea alumni in the 1970s and has since grown into one of the largest and most successful kibbutzim in Israel and features members from all over the world. Far from just date and dairy farming, they’ve also built a state-of-the-art algae farm, Israel’s first solar field, the lovely resort hotel in which we stayed, hiking tours with a very knowledgeable and friendly staff that guided us through our hikes, and the renowned Arava Institute for Environmental Studies—a school where Israeli, Palestinian, Jordanian, other Arab, and even some North American and European students learn everything from public-policy to water management to peace-building skills. Impressive as all this is, though, I think the biggest reason Pardes comes here every year is for its unique model of Jewish religious pluralism among kibbutzim. The kitchen is kosher, Shabbat and holidays are officially observed, and there is a synagogue where Shabbat services, B’nai Mitzvot, and circumcisions are held. Yet inside people’s homes there is religious autonomy; in private, some people are Orthodox, most are what we would call Conservative, and some are secular.

Ketura made me realize that before this week, I had no real idea what a kibbutz actually was. Prior to this, I always pictured a kibbutz as basically a farm full of ben Gurion-era socialists, but now I know that’s not entirely true. Yes, 100% of all members’ salaries go into the kibbutz and almost all meals are eaten together in the main dining hall, but children live with their families and you can eat at home any time you want to. Members are encouraged to develop their own projects suited to their needs and talents. I think our presenter Wednesday night was right when she said the kibbutz model is actually democracy in its purest form since all decisions on the kibbutz are made by committees of members, meaning all decisions made effect the decision makers equally as much as everybody else. As our tour guide said, nobody’s about to set-up a tent outside the kibbutz conference room. Very much like the Jerusalem bi-(really tri-)lingual school and the State of Israel as a whole, I am tremendously happy such a place exists, even if I can’t see myself living there.

Currently, the most famous resident of Ketura might be Methuselah, a 5-year old date palm. This plant is guarded as least as heavily as the Mona Lisa at the Kibbutz, and for good reason: It is the world’s oldest 5-year-old, growing from a 2,000-year-old seed of the now-extinct Judean palm variety found atop Masada. Other seeds were found, but this was the only one that still worked. Unfortunately, Methuselah is a male tree, so it will not be able to produce fruit without a female seed. Since I majored in fiction writing and not botany, I have no idea what that means other than what our tour guide said, “We have to find Methuselah a girlfriend.” I smell a reality show…

A 2,000-year-old date seed from Masada growing in the desert soil of a kibbutz in modern Israel. I bet you could make a lot of metaphors out of that.

 

Quote of the Week: “Earth’s crammed with heaven/And every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,”- Elizabeth Barrett Browning as quoted by our dean, Dr. Bernstein

 

Hebrew Word of the Week: עוגיות (“oogioht”) – cookies

 

(Top two photos stolen from Austin Clar and Yishai Paquin, respectively. Bottom one stolen from Andrea Wiese.)

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