[Alumni Guest Post] Toward God’s Love

Posted on May 22, 2013 by admin

R. Julie Gordon (PEP '12) recollects:

Here are some of my thoughts after my experience davenning with Women of the Wall (WOW) on May 10, 2013.

Rabbi Julie Gordon praying with Women of the Wall

I was exhilarated on the day after my bat mitzvah when I learned how to lay tefillin through the wisdom and care of Bert Cooper, z”l, our Albert Lea, MN para-rabbi. I felt empowered and joyful. Safely ensconced in our community and our shared relationship with God. My Baba had given me my Zayde’s tefillin. On that day when I held them in my hands, we both cried. She said, “Zayde would be so proud that you will be using his tefillin as he laid tefillin six days a week.” I remember those words every day as I wrap them around my arms, even now 40 years later, the soft leather straps worn thin and replaced twice. The scrolls checked and rechecked by sofrei stam. I am the only person on my mother’s side of the family who lays tefillin and I do it with care.

Last week, on my 56th birthday, I was preparing to lay my Zeyde’s teffilin, and to wrap myself in his memory, as I feel commanded to do this mitzvah. But, for the first time, I felt afraid. Continue reading →

Rosh Chodesh Sivan at the Kotel

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Andrea Wiese

From my blog:

Watch the actual video: here.

Friday morning was a blur. A scary blur. I didn’t wake up until 6:24 AM when my roommate screamed, “WIESE.” And I jumped out of bed, how could this happen, on a day that was so important to me? Never mind…we jumped in a taxi and I ran down to the women’s section with my bag. I couldn’t even get to the regular spot because there was a sea of light blue shirts of seminary girls from all over Israel. I quickly realized that they had been bussed in for the exact opposite reason I was there. I ran into my dear friend, and later saviour, Melissa. She was also lost. We didn’t know where “Women of the Wall” (WOW) was praying because there wasn’t space where they normally gather. (Smart thinking ultra-orthodox girls…if there isn’t space, maybe they can’t pray at the Kotel. Makes sense.) We went down together into the sea of blue, maybe they were there somewhere. They weren’t. But it was time to daven, so Melissa started pezukei dezimra (the “warm up” blessings, as I like to call them,) while I started to put on my tefillin. It was worse than the paparazzi that normally come to women of the wall. The girls thought they were seeing an alien or the devil…it was true what their rabbi told them, there are women who put on tefillin! They started taking pictures of my and then scuttled away, they didn’t want to be too close, maybe I could contaminate them. Many were already tisking at the action. But then, I pulled out my tallit (I know I should put on my tallit first and then tefillin, but there isn’t a lot of space and it’s difficult, so I reverse the order,) it was like poison. The girls backed away like if touching it would burn them, or something worse. They started making this hissing noise, I have never heard such a frightening/bizarre noise in my life. No one wanted to talk to me, it was too shocking to them. And I was there alone with my tallit and tefillin. I still didn’t know where the other women were. Melissa had finished pezukei dezimra and she looked at me, we knew we had to get out of there. It wasn’t safe. I was already flustered. Melissa, calm and cool, Continue reading →

Bound. because I Want to.

Posted on May 4, 2013 by Sam Kaye

I’m leaving for Israel and my father hands me two bags. “Take these with you. The furrier, Shlomo, your great grandmother’s brother-in-law, left them to me. Find out if it’s meaningful for you.”

The first is black felt, light to the touch, with a golden Magen David embroidered in cord on its front. The Tallit inside is thin, composed of silky white fabric that is shifting towards an aged grey. Blue stripes run along its slender frame while an intricate latticework of linen falls away from the edges only to tangle up with the Tzitzit at the corners. It’s German Reform, classic and beautiful. So light I barely feel its weight when I try it on. So thin and delicate it barely covers my shoulders. It’s not my first Tallit.

The second bag is old and mustard yellow, fine prismatic threading has frayed across its front where it spells out the words “Tefillin” in Hebrew. The Tefillin inside are old with paper caps atop the Shel, each heavy with lacquer. The leather is cracked and aromatic, the black stain no longer present along the edges. The two bags go into my duffel, right next to my other Tallit, but as I put them down one Tefillin fall out of their yellow bag. The paper top tips off and the shin of the Rosh stares up at me like blurred eye still heavy with sleep. I stare back. What do I do with you?

Why does a Reform Jew wrap T’fillin? Continue reading →

Jews in funny hats and leather straps.

Posted on April 23, 2013 by Avi Benson-Goldberg

From my blog:

The thing is, the apparatus of “traditional prayer” are sort of kinky.

The thing is, we’re ten men tying ourselves up in leather straps too early in the morning.

And we’re enshrouded in these huge sheets, and some people cover their heads and faces and it’s very anonymous even when I know who everyone is. Continue reading →

Toxic Davening

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Shoshana Rosen

From my blog:

When you are praying the words “Shema Yisrael”, “Listen Israel”, but instead you hear the sound of people yelling at you.

When there are more photographers and journalists than people praying.

After months of hesitation and apprehension I visit the kotel for Rosh Chodesh. I go to finally see what it is like to be a part of Women of the Wall, an organization that some of my friends have been very active in all year. I have come up with every excuse in the book to not go: “I’m too tired, I really need to sleep”, or “I don’t want to get arrested for being there when I don’t even know how I feel about it”. But after realizing I have successfully not gone for 9 months, and I only have 1 or 2 more opportunities before I leave Israel this time, I pushed my self to wake up and go.

I was waiting on line with this huge group of Argentinian Jews who, from overhearing their conversation, had just come from Poland. And they looked like it, exhausted, drained, and happy to be in Eretz Yisrael. With the look in their eyes, like they know the last week of their lives changed them forever, even if some haven’t realized it yet. Continue reading →

Rosh Hodesh Adar at the Kotel

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Andrea Wiese

From my blog:

We went to the Kotel (Western Wall) to pray this morning for Rosh Hodesh Adar. It started last night organizing taxis for everyone from Pardes who wanted to go. This morning, I woke up at 5:30…I made the decision to wrap my arm tefillin and wear my coat over it. I wrapped it until my wrist, so under my coat it couldn’t be seen going through security. I put my Rosh (head) tefillin in my inside jacket pocket.

I met three other people from Pardes at 6:30am to get a taxi to the Kotel. We waited in line at security. They took my tallit and wouldn’t let me enter with it. They also took my empty tefillin bag. They didn’t know that it was already on my body. Honestly, I didn’t want them for protesting. I lay tefillin every morning, and it’s difficult for me to daven shacharit (the morning prayers) without tefillin now. There is a connection that comes with the tefillin. There is also a connection with the tallit, but as I told the reporters after they took my tallit, I want to pray at the Kotel, that’s why I came, so I’m willing to give up my tallit to be able to pray there on Rosh Hodesh. Continue reading →

Tefillin

Posted on September 28, 2012 by Andrea Wiese

Recently, with the help of a teacher and a friend, I have taken on the mitzvah of tefillin. To be honest, I’m not sure when I really started wanting to try it, it’s such a personal experience so it’s hard to say, “I wanted to have this feeling, so I started to wrap tefillin.” But I did want to see what feeling it would give me and if it would enhance my prayer experience. One thing for sure, it helps me focus. When I feel the leather biting into my arm, it brings me back to my prayer and whatever intention I’m trying to have.

Another part that I really like it seeing the lines it leaves on my arms hours later into the day. I don’t know if it’s because I have really soft skin, or I wrap too tightly, but the lines stay on my arms for hours! It’s a really good reminder of being in that place of prayer and still having that concentration while I’m not “praying” anymore. An hour later when I’m contemplating if I have time to help someone, and I see the lines, I’m like…”yes, of course, I’ll help, I just prayed to be a better person!”

I have only be wrapping tefillin for two weeks, so if I have any big spiritual moments, I’ll post more.

This picture was very Erev Yom Kippur. Naomi and I went to Tel Aviv to do a mikvah in the ocean, and we’re praying before we went into the water. It was an AMAZING experience! I felt so pure going into Yom Kippur!

And you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart

Posted on May 8, 2012 by aliza

וארשתיך לי לעולם, וארשתיך לי בצדק ובמשפט ובחסד וברחמים. וארשתיך לי באמונה, וידעת את הי

And I will betrothe you to me forever and always, and I will betrothe you to me in righteousness and in justice and in loving-kindness and in compassion. And I will betrothe you to me in faith and belief and reliance, and you will know God.

I remember when I first read this passage. I had just inherited my great-grandfather’s tefillin and I was sitting in my room trying to learn how to put them on correctly. At first, I thought I could just figure it out intuitively. When that didn’t generate a great deal of success, I pulled out my lap top and my Art Scroll. Open on my screen were diagrams for wrapping the tefillin, and I was carefully cross-checking my siddur for the appropriate order of actions and the blessings. I was completely engrossed in the particulars of how-to and was in the process of wrapping the leather bands around my arm rather perfunctorily when my eyes touched upon this last bit of text. My heart was stolen. In that moment, I forgot to continue wrapping the straps or to say the bracha. I dropped the leather and sat in wonder, marveling at the beauty of the text before me. Continue reading →

What’s Meaningful to Me

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Heligman

Last December I attended the first of a series of Meditation Retreats in Hannaton (co-led by Pardes faculty member James Jacobson-Maisels). It’s been about 2 months now since experiencing the awakened state of being that defines “Retreat”. I call it an awakened state because the sensitivity you develop during these retreats can be described in no other words. Retreat provides an environment to wake up to life. What an experience! What an opportunity! But the environment is so extreme and exact that it would be impossible to recreate into every day life. What one is left with after Retreat (other than a smile that lasts for weeks) are tools. You are left with Continue reading →

Morning Prayer

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Sharon G.

Egalitarian minyan at Pardes

Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies

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Tag Archives: tefilin / phylacteries