Dare I Rant?

From my blog:
I need a man, not a monkey.

I need a man, not a monkey.

I am usually a very tolerant person, especially when people are trying to understand human diversity. I will kindly explain that, no, Connecticut is not New York and that, yes, I would rather watch reruns of “Gilmore Girls” than new episodes of “Jersey Shore.” I will gladly explain that I would much rather bake with a guy than go to a bar with him, and I’ll even accept his offers to get things for me from high shelves.

But this weekend, I reached a limit. There comes a point when I can no longer make jokes about all the things I should make jokes about.
The scene: Friday night dinner with a few Pardes students and a wealthy British family.
The subject: Being gluten-free.

It all started off innocuously enough. Continue reading

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Contra Dance in Jerusalem


The first time that I heard about contra dance, I was a sophomore in college and just taking the first baby steps towards having a social life with people my own age. It was described to me as a “really fun and really easy social dance, everyone should go.” I subsequently managed to find an excuse to not go every time someone asked, primarily because I didn’t like that group of people enough to drive an hour both ways on a school night.

The next year, at a different school and more inclined to talk to people instead of reading in every spare moment, I heard that there was a contra dance on campus. Since the idea had never been unappealing and I didn’t have to drive anywhere, I walked over to our community hall to try it out. Continue reading

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A Shtender Bender

Most people have never even heard the word shtender. They think I am making up a pretend word, though to my knowledge it is Yiddish. I said it recently to an Israeli friend and the closest word I could use to explain it was the word מעמד, which means a stand, but that isn’t even really what it is. It’s more than that.

At the beginning of the year, I noticed that a few people had shtenders. A shtender, (for those of you who actually don’t know what I’m talking about), is a small wooden frame that opens up into a stand on which Judaic books and texts are placed on so that one can study them at eye level rather than leaning over them on a table. Many shtenders are decorated and people often write their names or a biblical verse on them. I first saw and got to know shtenders in camp, when I saw people making them in a workshop in Woodmaking. I never saw them again until I got to Pardes. I thought they were cool and it was always in the back of my mind that I wanted to get one. I didn’t get a chance to go on the adventure to get one until a few weeks ago. I was under the weather and decided to take the morning off to rest up. I felt better, and before going in for my afternoon class, I decided to take a trip downtown to go and get my shtender.
Continue reading

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Mikketz, Chanukah, the Holocaust, and Dreams: a D’var Torah from 2009

At my shul back home, Young People’s Synagogue, members take turns giving the d’var Torah each Saturday morning. This is one I gave for Parashat Mikketz/Shabbat Chanukah on December 19, 2009 about the parsha, Chanukah, and the Holocaust. For what it’s worth, these themes repeated themselves again this year when we began learning about the Holocaust in Turning Points in Modern Jewish History today.

Shabbat Shalom. This week’s parsha, Mikketz, is the middle of three parishot comprising the saga of Joseph, making this sort of The Empire Strikes Back of Torah portions. And speaking of Empires striking back, today is, of course, also the last day of Hanukkah. The almost annual juxtaposition of Chanukah and Mikketz naturally got me to thinking for this dvar about what they have in common, what new things we could learn when we add these two Jewish stories together, and I discovered the answer comes in Psalm 30, mizmor shir chanukat haBayit, the one we’ve been reading twice every morning all week. One verse in particular stands out, verse 4: “O Lord, You have brought my soul from the grave; You have revived me from my decent into the Pit.” This almost feels like it could be a quote from Joseph after he is literally saved from the pit twice—once when he is sold into slavery and again when he is called out of jail by Pharaoh and named viceroy, and from the Maccabees after defeating the greatest empire on Earth and saving Judaism. With this in mind, it could also be the renascent shout of survivors and of the Jewish People after experiencing the horrors and then the triumphs of the mid-twentieth century. This extension of the theme forced itself on me in a big way Friday before last and has been on my mind ever since.

Dr. Bob Mendler was a survivor. He survived Auschwitz and nine other Concentration Camps during the Holocaust, and no one else in his family did. Since he had no one left in Europe, where a total of 89 of his family members were murdered, he moved to Latrobe, where a relative owned a shoe store he would eventually take over, Mendler’s Shoes, a local institution until he closed it upon retirement. Also in America, he took as a wife a woman he met on a blind date, Joan Pretter, my paternal Grandmother’s cousin, and he also became very close family friends with another prominent local Jewish business man, Morton Glick, my maternal grandfather, OBM and proprietor of Morty’s Men’s Wear.

Uncle Bob would suffer health complications his entire life. He had no family outside his nuclear one, Aunt Joanie died last April, MSRiP, and he once said he had aspirations for college and a great career in something I don’t remember before the war came when he was 13 and ruined his plans. Yet part of the reason his store became such an institution was his warm, bubbly personality. He was alive in the truest sense, living in America with a wife and 2 sons to carry on his name, plus he had community and great friends- what more could anybody want? Plus he was keeping the memory alive. He spent most of his later years speaking and lecturing all over the region, but especially at St. Vincent’s and Seton Hill Universities, where he received an honorary doctorate, and taught about his life story, relentlessly preached tolerance, diversity, and love for all people, and touched countless lives. Some would say he had every right to have been bitter, but he knew bitterness only creates problems and solves none.

Some of you may remember an article I wrote for the Chronicle last summer that featured our own Shulamit and another survivor, Julia Weingarten. When we met, Julia mentioned she was looking for someone to tell her story, and I said, if I had a minute like over Christmas break or something, I’d be glad to. When Christmas break first started beckoning right around the corner after Thanksgiving, I contacted Jewish Family & Children’s Services to see if Julia was still interested. I was supposed to receive a phone call from Therese, her caretaker whose work was the article’s main focus any day to let me know. Almost an entire week went by, and I heard nothing. Then, last Friday afternoon, as I was in the library watching the movie Aliens in preparation for writing a final paper about its subtle anti-Semitism for my pop culture class, I received a phone call from my mother. Uncle Bob, who always seemed so full of life, had had a freak heart-attack Thursday afternoon and died. While I was still coping with this, not ten minutes later, Therese called to say Julia was thrilled with the idea. That’s when I knew something big was definitely going on here.

One of the themes the Rabbis stress in the Joseph story is that of maintaining your identity in a foreign culture while still being an integral part of it, like Joseph was able to do in Egypt. The Hanukkah story, meanwhile, is our more extreme anti-assimilation story—oil doesn’t mix, after all. During the Holocaust, cheredim and heretics were targeted equally, yet, like Joseph was able to do in Egypt, what the Maccabees did in the Temple, and what many survivors of the Shoah were and are able to do,they each in their own way kept the flame of their Jewish heritage burning through the darkness that surrounded them, and ultimately, that’s what Jews do—keep the flame burning no matter what. The darkness increases each night of Chanukah this year, while simultaneously the chanukiah burns ever brighter in noble resistance. This flame that it burns is Torah, this flame is human dignity, this flame is knowledge that teaching and learning in order to do are holy acts. And these are flames the Egyptians, the Hellenists, the Nazis, and indeed all our oppressors refused to be warmed by. As Chief Rabbi Dr. Sir Lord Jonathan Sacks [exhale] (such nakhas!) said earlier this week in his maiden address to the House of Lords, “In ancient times the Egyptians built pyramids, the Greeks built temples, the Romans built amphitheaters. Jews built schools. And because of that, alone among ancient civilizations, Judaism survived.”

This all leads back to Jewish dreams, miracles. Joseph’s dreams became fulfilled, but at what cost to his family? Uncle Bob dreamed of a whole different path for his life before the War came, yet for all the difficult turns his life took, he never lost the air of a man living the American dream. Dreams, like the flames of a chanukiah, burn brightly in the dark for a while in some not-quite physical state before flickering out, only to live on in the tangible residue they leave behind. My favorite band, Rush, has a song about dreams called “Nocturne”, and two of its best lyrics are the refrain, “Did I have a dream, or did the dream have me?” and the verse “On the instant of waking another world of dreams appears.” And the cold, hard reality is that this is absolutely true. Why do we conflate dreams with utopianism; when was the last time anybody can remember having a dream that was wholly good? So we do live in a world of dreams… and nightmares are dreams too, don’t forget. Hitler dreamed of a world free of Jews every bit as much as Herzl dreamed of a Jewish homeland in the Holy Land. Thank God, Herzl’s was more prophetic.

Wednesday morning I met with Julia for our first session together. The night before, for the first time ever, I dreamt I was in the Holocaust. It wasn’t a very realistic dream—just before Mengele was about to cut all my toes off, my best friends from high school who I still hang out with, all gentiles, came and comforted me, and then my alarm went off and the dream went out like a candle-flame in the wind. But it was a dream nonetheless, and one that for many people would have been much preferable to reality.

So we are living dreams, miracles, for better or for worse, and the existence of breathing, praying, learning, loving Jews is the greatest miracle of them all. Thousands of years ago, we dreamt we would be an eternal people no matter what happened. It was so crazy, so nonsensical for a tiny tribe of the Ancient Near-East to think it would not only be an eternal people but a blessing for the world no less, that a dream is all it could possibly have been. And yet,through many tears and a few triumphs, it has come true, just like we knew it would, and it continues to come true each day Jews live and live like Jews. If the Mikketz/Chanukah/Holocaust connection that has forced itself on me these past 2 weeks teaches anything it is this: If it is true what the Rabbis say, that for every event that happens in this world there is its equivalent in Heaven, then perhaps since one of the most beautiful sights I know is seeing Hanukkah candles burning ever brighter in the cold night, year-in-year-out, perhaps one of God’s is seeing Jewish souls and dreams do the same, year-in and year-out. No matter what. Shabbat Shalom and Chag Chanukah Sameakh.

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Week 14: Things I Love About Israel

(X-posted from my home blog, Yinzer in Yerushalayim)

(In no order)

*People here really look out for you. I know I’ve written about this at least twice before, but I really can’t get over it: Last week, when I went to pay utility bills at the post office, when I finally got to see the teller after at least a half-hour in line, she told me she couldn’t process my payment without another part of the bill I didn’t bring with me. I sighed as I told her I would run home and get them, anticipating wasting at least another half-hour in line when I got back, when she told me when I had them, i could just go up and see her without waiting in line. So I did: I ran back, got the stuff, cut to the front, she processed the bill payment, and I was on my way without further hassle. The amount of excuses people come up with here for cutting in line used to really annoy me, but now seeing it from the other side, I see its advantages. Having said that, if someone jumps in front of me when I’m next in line at the bank one more time because he missed it when his number came up, he’s getting punched in the face.
Later that same morning, as I was walking home carrying mail, I heard someone shouting, “Hello? Hello!” I ignored it and kept walking until it became clear she was yelling at me. When I turned around, she pointed to the mail I dropped.

*I get to hear South Africans say “muffins” on a fairly consistent basis.

*Even after being here for four months already, almost no matter what it’s saying, Hebrew graffiti always makes me smile.

*Everyone I’ve met here who has been there loves Pittsburgh. I met an Israeli guy at a party once who just kept raving about how clean it was, how friendly people are, and on and on and on, but he wasn’t the only one. Pittsburgh seems to consistently surprise Jews with its cleanliness and friendliness, and Squirrel Hill (where, for the record, I am not  “from”, much as I feel at home there) in particular gets rave reviews. People especially appreciate its Jewish diversity and tolerance–when I tell people from other communities about how well the different sects of Jews get along here, or how well all the day schools cooperate, or about the community Tikkun Liel Shavuot at the JCC, or anything about Young People’s Synagogue, they are legitimately impressed, as well they should be. Learning about other communities has made me realize how special ours is. And while it might be blasphemous for Jews from all over the world to gather in Jerusalem to sing the praises of Pittsburgh, I nonetheless think it’s pretty cool. Yet there are other important similarities between the two cities besides love of Pittsburgh: Jerusalem and Pittsburgh are similar in population and both share a topography and street plan beamed down from Mars; I was taking a walk this morning, and was truly astounded at how much it felt like walking through Pittsburgh sans the patient drivers. Language barrier aside, it is not hard for a Yiddishe Yinzer to feel at home in Yerushalayim.

*Very much unlike in Pittsburgh, I love how the street numbers here actually make sense: The first house on the left side of the street is always 1, the first on the right 2, then 3 is next on the left,  then 4 on the right, etc. Now if only these numbers were actually displayed on more than half of the buildings…

*The power bill has Muppets on it:

*You can learn about Jewish history from the street signs. I smile and feel like an insider when I see or hear of a street named for events or people I’ve heard of. More importantly, however, and this is of course the point of naming streets this way, I am motivated by curiosity to look into street namesakes whose names I don’t recognize. Last week’s 29 November party was nothing if not a celebration of the pedagogical power of street signs.

*Jewish holidays are the holidays.

*People eat vegetables here (“vegetable” defined here as something you could not get away with putting in a fruit salad). Yes, Americans eat vegetables, too, but what I mean is that we here in Israel eat them without their being drowned in mayonnaise or used as a decoration for meat. Slices of pepper, cucumber, tomato, and carrots, usually with hummus, white cheese, and/or eggplant as a dip are common features of Israeli breakfasts and snacks. Even better, people eat red peppers and cucumbers here the way we eat apples.

MOVEMBER EPILOGUE:

My current ‘stache ranks somewhere between my friend Erik’s newborn baby daughter Arianna and James Carville (with apologies to the Loeffert family):


Things I love about the end of Movember (In order):

1. I am proud to say the Pardes team, Safam so Good, raised $4,277 for men’s health!!!
2. I’ve never had so many girls tell me how good I look since I shaved my mustache.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED!!

Quote of the Week: “You can still wear pants and love God” – L.S.

Hebrew Word of the Week: אהבה (“ahava”) – Love

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[Student Profile] Natalie Mittelman

Natalie (above, right) and her sister Sharyn (above, left) from Melbourne, Australia arrived at Pardes in September, knowing they would only be able to join us for one semester. Natalie (Nat) informed These&Those that the Australian summer holiday is in December and January, and the academic year runs from February through November. This explains her plans to return home next week to continue her professional studies. Nat’s reason for leaving Pardes checks out okay, but we’re still going to miss her!



Both sides of Nat’s family once lived in Poland. Her mother’s family has lived in Australia since the 1930′s, and her father’s parents arrived in Australia via Israel in the 1950′s, having met in a Displaced Persons Campafter the Holocaust. Nat feels deeply connected to her grandparents’ stories of survival, and for this young woman one of the most rewarding facets of a life full of Jewish ritual is the honor that she holds for her family’s traditions.

Nat attended Bialik College, a Zionist Jewish day school, and she was very proud to tell These&Those that upwards of 70% of Australian Jewish children in Melbourne attend Jewish day schools! In 2005 Natalie visited Israel through Habonim Dror, and returned for a Zionist youth seminar in 2007. Driven by activism, Nat became the head of education of the Australiasian Union of Jewish Students in 2009.

After receiving a degree in liberal arts and another in science, Nat felt that the time had come to ground herself in Jewish text study before pursuing her education diploma in Australia. She was looking for an intense, co-ed learning environment in Israel with a strong Tanakh curriculum… and Pardes was the perfect fit!

Rabbi Meir Schweiger’s Chumash class greatly inspired Natalie. His class was methodologically compelling, and his enthusiasm filled the classroom. “I hope to some day inspire my students to find such meaning in reading Chumash!” she exclaims. Another class that Nat recommended is Rabbi Levi Cooper’s Rambam class. “He pushed us to achieve more than we ever thought we could… and he taught us a lot more than just Rambam!”

Beyond lessons learned in Pardes classrooms, Nat was also impacted by her exposure to the student body. The vast majority of synagogues in Australia are Orthodox, and Natalie felt challenged by the wide range of religious views and affiliations among the students of the Pardes community.

“I continue to feel strongly that Jewish continuity was sustained by Orthodox traditions throughout history and also today,” she explains, “but I’ve developed a much broader appreciation of the global Jewish community through Pardes, and I think this experience will empower me to relate to my future students with greater tolerance and understanding.” 

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