These and Those

Musings from Students of the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies in Jerusalem

Just – Can’t – Say it…Right

Posted on September 10, 2013 by Naomi Bilmes

Tags: , , , , ,

From my blog:

Sometimes my Mind Thinks in Poetry

1005861_1937793159683_1726621250_nSometimes my mind
thinks in poetry,
but it’s a
halting poem
I’m feeling
and I’m feeling
and I can’t put
the right words
to the feelings.

Like when I throw a ball of energy
across the room
in the form of Hebrew letters
and it catches fire inside another person
and then, without warning, it burns me—hot!—
but that is what I wanted—all of it!—
the orange flame,
the yellow,
the blue
and the purple.
Does that make sense?

And the right words
won’t come
to help me describe
this place
and the people
who catch my eye
and throw the fire;
we are all here
to play catch
and I know it
and they know it
and our fingers barely touch the ball.
And as I’m sitting.
the ball comes to rest
on my lap
and I dare not touch it
for fear
that I will never get it back.
So it hovers. And crackles. And glows. It’s mine.

And because I cannot find
the right words,
I want to lean
against your shoulder
and feel your arm around me
because the only way
to tell you this feeling
is to share it
and make you glow
with me.

And when the fire fades for the day,
sometimes my mind
thinks in music
and as I walk
and sing
and speak
I remember the crazy lady
I saw a few days ago
who was doing the exact same thing
as I am doing now.
Maybe her mind thinks in poetry, too.

Sometimes my mind
thinks in poetry
and all the thoughts
come at once,
but united
by the fact that they are all being thought
by me
and I might be the only one
who understands them.