Musings from Students of the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies in Jerusalem
Posted on December 27, 2012 by Annie Matan Gilbert
This week’s PCJE Dvar Torah is on Parshat Vayechi and is heavily inspired by the amazing divrei Torah of Yaffa Epstein and Jenna King-Brill at recent Pardes Night Seders. It’s also a little bit connected to this week’s learning in Ayeka, about “The Hard Stuff” in relationship with God and others.
I have been pondering themes of open-heartedness, blessings and forgiveness these past few weeks and I think this is Joseph’s answer.
For him, God was with him all along (at least in hindsight) through each test and challenge. And through his eyes, God was even with his father, who arrived in Egypt aged and jaded because, unlike Joseph, he couldn’t see the blessings that followed him there.
My father lived a hard life for a short time
Racked with guilt and loss
Keenly aware of the pain of one betrayal after another
One fight after another
For his father’s favour
For his legacy
For his love
For his daughter’s virtue
For his favourite son
For himself
And I
I lost so much
My family
My childhood
My home
My freedom
My identity
But I do not mourn all that
For I see that God was with me
Every step
In the pit
In the caravan
In Potiphar’s house
In the dreams of a baker and a cupbearer and a pharaoh
And now, God is here
In this hall
Between my brothers
And me
So how can I find fault with their foolish actions?
How can I withhold forgiveness and favour
When I know it has been as God intended
For my father –
A birthright
A blessing from an angel
Two weddings and 13 children
His daughter returned
And now his son
Years of plenty in Egypt, surrounded by family
And for me-
A journey to become a man
With the power to save thousands
Even my foolish brothers
Even a pharaoh
And even me.
