[Alumni Guest Post] A Holy Stranger with Open Arms

Alissa Thomas (Spring '11) blogs about relating to
Jewish Converts, inspired by her own father:

There is nothing like seeing my father dressed head to toe in all white.

His soul hearkens to the time of the Kabbalistic rabbis who, draped in white clothing, would sing Kabbalat Shabbat in the fields. I imagine my father in his Shabbat white watching the sun set with his arms spread like angels’ wings and his heart leaping out of his chest toward his Creator. It is quite a breathtaking sight.

My family takes the Kabbalistic practice of wearing white clothing on Shabbat and many chagim very seriously. Every family member has a section of his or her wardrobe for the special white pieces, including shoes. We appreciate the physical expression of spiritual openness and humility; but my father has always had a special relationship with this practice. Continue reading

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My Ayeka Journey

Among the many blessings I have experienced this year is the Ayeka course facilitated by David Bogomolny.  I share here some of my favourite take-aways from the course (handily preserved in my writing exercises and reflections.)

This module was about bringing God back to the conversation.  I felt like it gave me a place to engage with my relationship with God and my beliefs in a spiritual way amidst a year of otherwise mostly intellectual pursuits.  I always manage to find my way back to faith and my relationship with God but in the Ayeka sessions, God was our starting point, not only the destination.

Session 4, on the conversation or hitbodedut, took place during the Pillar of Cloud preparations.  According to my reflections, hitbodedut at this time came as a welcome relief during a time of confusion, when I felt inarticulate and confused.  Here is what I wrote: Continue reading

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[Alumni Guest Post] Alumni Focus: Rachel Meiner

Rachel Meiner (PEP '06-'08) teaches 2nd and 3rd grade Judaic
Studies (Chumash, Yahadut, and Tefillah) at The Hannah Senesh
Community Day School
in Brooklyn, NY. She lives two blocks
from school with her husband and four month old daughter,
Neomi.

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I returned to teaching three weeks ago after being on maternity leave for the past three months. If I thought teaching was exhausting before, teaching and then going home to a four-month-old is exhausting on a whole other level. Every morning I must make sure to leave the house with my brain intact!

Even though this is my fifth year in the classroom, returning as a mom has given me a whole new perspective on my job as a Judaics educator. Two things that remain clear are that I still love my students and that their humor makes all of my efforts worthwhile. I also have much more patience for my students’ parents and their concerns for their children. I have always believed that every child is different and that a teacher must find a way to reach each child, but now I see Continue reading

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Essence of the Awe

I discovered the following text during an Ayeka session, and found it very challenging… then, in spiritual havruta, I fought with myself to think about this with an open mind, and I’d like to share my subsequent thoughts further below.

אור ישראל, הרבי מסאלאנט

Ohr Yisrael, Rav Yisrael of Salant

מהו מהות של יראת שמים?
“What is the essence of the fear/awe of Heaven?”
הנה ידוע כי יש שתי בחינות ביראת ה’. וחכמי היראה והמוסר יכנו אותם בשם: יראת העונש ויראת הרוממות.
It is known that there are two aspects of fearing God. The experts in this field call them: 1) Fear of Punishment, and 2) Awe of Reverence. Continue reading
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Running the Jerusalem Half Marathon, March 1st, 2013

Literally running into (or rather, alongside of) DLK‘s team of 10k Jerusalem Marathon route walkers this past Friday morning reminded me all over again of the thrill that was the morning of March 1st – the Jerusalem Marathon. Although I do have to say that as beautiful as the walk must have been a week later on such a glorious day, I was very happy to wake up to a cloudy morning on the day of the race. The chillier the weather, the less chance there is of an unhappy stomach during a run.

As I told DLK and some other listeners by the coffee station last week, I have never done anything in my life about which people were still talking excitedly so many days later. I’ve realized what was so novel to me about this reaction: I do not remember a time where I have been widely congratulated for something I did physically, not mentally or academically.

Gabby Goodman and Kayla Higginson Team Shalva

Gabby Goodman and Kayla Higgins
on Team Shalva

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If Only…

On Saturday, I returned to the Kotel to daven at the minyan that I’d happened upon the previous Shabbat. Once again, the group was friendly, and one of the participants noted that I had arrived on time, which he encouraged me to do again.

On my way through the Old City to minyan, I found myself cheerfully greeting others with a “Shabbat Shalom,” feeling myself in good spirits. I reflected upon my mood as I walked, and realized that I was looking forward to praying on Shabbat in the open air with the friendly minyan that I’d discovered there. Continue reading

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Three Words

A story from my Cowbird:

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On the sidewalk H squints at the passing buses, trying to read their destinations as they motion quickly towards the places they will go. I pretend to help, but the combination of foreign characters and moving vehicles spins my head. “You’ll learn the language soon,” H says to me smiling. I don’t believe him, but I keep this quiet.

On a bus too wide for these streets we sit side by side. Our knees touching, and the quick turns push us closer. We don’t resist it. “Do you know the word seder?” He asks me. Of course I do, and I think of the twenty-two Passovers speeding past in the rear-view mirror: bowls of salted water, dead Aunts waving. This is H’s favorite Hebrew word: Seder, a noun, an order of things. He tells me his favorite word in English: Mind, a noun, a thing that thinks, that makes order, that remembers the right words, acts the right actions, so the person whose leg is touching yours can know exactly how you feel. It was Ramadan, but still that morning in his kitchen he dropped falafel dough in hot oil, dabbed them each on a napkin, ate twice as much as me, and said “I love you.” He tells me his favorite word in Arabic was the hardest to choose, since it is his Mother Tongue and its cognitive reservoirs reach back through every thought he can remember. I notice his eyes are the brightest black I have ever seen. That his mouth goes up without effort. “What’s your favorite word in Arabic?” I ask. “Fahima,” he said. A verb. To understand.

Cheese bourekas and falafel stands. My mind is swimming in cooking oil. Outside the bus, we pass posters promising war with Iran. We pass signs in Hebrew I do not understand. We pass sidewalks and fences of barbed wire. Inside the bus there is order. Two hands touch. Two eyes meet, and they do not look away.

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[PCJE Dvar Torah] A Woman’s Insight by David Bogomolny

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This week we are starting the sefer (book) of Shemot (Exodus), which literally means ‘names’. The weekly parasha is also called Shemot. I mention this because the first name that comes to my mind when I read this parasha is iy‘Isra Yaghoubi’ (Year ’08-’09, Fellows ’09-’10). She was my first Chumash havruta, and she left me with many clever Torah insights and lots of fond memories. This dvar Torah is l’zchutah (for her merit).

The section of Parshat Shemot that I’d like to focus on is at the beginning of Perek Bet (Chapter two) of Sefer Shemot:

א. וַיֵּלֶךְ אִישׁ, מִבֵּית לֵוִי; וַיִּקַּח, אֶת-בַּת-לֵוִי 1. And there went a man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of Levi.
ב. וַתַּהַר הָאִשָּׁה, וַתֵּלֶד בֵּן; וַתֵּרֶא אֹתוֹ כִּי-טוֹב הוּא, וַתִּצְפְּנֵהוּ שְׁלֹשָׁה יְרָחִים 2. And the woman conceived, and bore a son; and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months.
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What is a prayer? [pt. 2 in a series]

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

Pardes students daven mincha at Mitzpe Rimon.

Pardes students daven mincha at Mitzpe Rimon.
(*click* for larger photo)

At Pardes, it is easy to look at our faculty and see inhumanly perfect beings. This is an unfair assessment. Don’t tell Rabbi Eliezer I said this, but sometimes kavod rabbeinu (respect for our teachers) can go too far in making it impossible to see something of ourselves in our teachers. I worry that when a culture develops around making that gap pronounced, it becomes hard to see how I as a student can ever make it to the direction of my teachers.

This is why I was so glad to hear Rahel Berkovits’ contributions to our shiur clalli last week. (to remind yourself why we’re here, check back in with part 1. I’ll wait) As the self-described token person who has difficulties with t’fillah, Rahel (like me!) is envious of Meir, and those who know how to daven. Because when she tries, and she does try, she isn’t able to connect.

rberIt’s emotionally upsetting because I feel like I should be able to. But I can’t. I’m not good at it. I think that growing up female in an Orthodox community negatively effected me. Unlike Meir, I had no junior congregation, no opportunities to be the leader and get involved and feel connected. I know less about parts of t’fillah because Continue reading

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Snapshots of my Pardes life

Hebron Olive
There is Torah in this trunk:
Otiot of rain, sun, wind, bullets, tears.
Clouds pass, stories unwind, sun drops.
Light shines through holes in gray bark.
Is truth as crooked as this limb,
As steep as the hillside?
In the hollow center,
Old leaves make new soil.
Is this a Torah of hope?

Photograph of me
I am surprised to see a thick torso and wrinkles on my neck.
I forget about time.
In my mind, I am this other thing, young, lithe, beautiful.
I run fast in dreams, very fast.
Time has me.
How strange, how ordinary.
When I remember, I forget my Amalek:
The dark voices that confound.
When I remember, I am grateful.
When I remember, I run fast, very fast.

I hear Abayiss
I hear your poem.
I hear emptiness, waiting.
No sleep.
Cigarettes frame images.
I see the red, glowing circle in the dark.
Your breath, mixes with smoke, exhales worry.

Tunes
Unlikely: Scottish tunes in yeshiva.
We play watery melodies on dry land.
Golden sax, tawny fiddle, tubes and leather
Sing in the dark.

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